Dear 16 year old Jasmine

Dear 16 year old Jasmine,

 When I was 16 I said some pretty hurtful things to my best friend. She wouldn’t come see a movie with me so I started screaming at her and saying that she was a horrible best friend. I said she was selfish because she only wanted me to do what she wanted to do, and never went along and participated in activities that I liked. I started saying that she dragged me to a concert that I didn’t want to go to, but I went because I knew that she loved the band. I said that I had repeatedly wasted money accompanying her places that only she wanted to go to.

After a few minutes of going on and on, she began to cry. She felt like I didn’t want to be her best friend anymore and that I hated her. In all reality I hadn’t previously mentioned things I wanted to do, I always just agreed with her plans. Since she was more vocal about what she wanted, she got what she wanted. I began to feel horrible because this whole argument was not her fault, but in fact my own. I just expected her to read my mind and accompany me to all of the events and activities that interested me but I never communicated that to her.

If I could go back in time, I would have communicated to her better. I wanted her to start doing more things that I liked, but I would have told her that in a totally different way. I realize now that screaming at someone is the wrong way to get your message across and it hurts the other person’s feelings. I’m so grateful that we are true best friends and was able to get past that whole ordeal but to this day I still feel guilty about what I said. I hurt her because I was angry and said whatever, however I wanted to say it. I would have waited to talk to her after I had calmed down from her denying my movie invite, because when someone is angry they say things they really don’t mean. Lastly, I would have thought before I spoke because I love her and I would never do or say something to hurt her.